Week Twenty Five: Why is there an alphabetical order?

X WHY Z

SETTING — A home.

CHARACTERS — CHILD and ADULT.  

AT RISE — CHILD is playing. ADULT is trying to work.

CHILD: Why is there an alphabetical order?

ADULT: Um. Hmmm. Well. I don’t know why.

CHILD: Why don’t you know why?

ADULT: Because no one knows why.

CHILD: Why?

ADULT: They started doing it so long ago that no one remembers who did it first.

CHILD: Why?

ADULT: Why did they start or why does no one remember? You should learn to be more specific with the questions you ask.

CHILD: Why?

ADULT: Because it’s an essential part of being a thinking person.

CHILD: Why?

ADULT: Because if you don’t ask the right questions, how will you get the right answers?

CHILD: Why?

ADULT: Why what?

CHILD: Why?

ADULT: Why why?

CHILD: Why?

ADULT: Why?

CHILD: Why?

ADULT: Why?

CHILD: Why?

ADULT: Why?

CHILD: Well I suppose it’s that I’m a dry sponge right now—you’re not so much taking the time to fill my head with things that make me wonder, so I have to seek them out myself. It’s a process of discovery, maybe. Noisy and annoying, perhaps, but essential.

ADULT: Oh.

CHILD: Why?

ADULT: “Oh” is what I say when someone makes such a good point that I’m not sure what to say next.

CHILD: Why?

ADULT: Because I have to say something.

CHILD: Why?

ADULT: That’s a good point. Maybe I don’t. You’re a smart kid.

CHILD: Why?

ADULT: Because your mother and I are smart people, too.

CHILD: Why?

ADULT (realizing): ...Because we asked a lot of questions.

CHILD: Oh. (beat) Can I watch Sid the Science Kid now?

ADULT: Sure.

CHILD scampers off. ADULT sits back, contented smile.

ADULT: Never should have fucking had kids.

END OF PLAY.