Week Twenty Three: "I'm too intelligent to enjoy life"

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

SETTING—An empty stage.

CHARACTERS—CHARACTERS 1 and 2.

AT RISE—They are standing on the empty stage, awkwardly.

CHARACTER 1: Sooo.

CHARACTER 2: Yeah.

Long beat.

CHARACTER 1: Maybe, like, we just start talking.

CHARACTER 2: Could be, yeah.

CHARACTER 1: What’s your name?

CHARACTER 2: I don’t appear to have one. You?

CHARACTER 1: Same.

Long beat.

CHARACTER 2: What do we know about each other?

CHARACTER 1: I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before.

CHARACTER 2: I can’t think of anyone I’ve seen before.

CHARACTER 1: Do we know anything about ourselves?

CHARACTER 2: I think maybe I don’t like you very much.

CHARACTER 1: Great! That’s a really good start. Conflict.

CHARACTER 2: I guess so. And I’m either male or female. Humanoid, it would seem. What about you?

CHARACTER 1: I think I’m sad.

CHARACTER 2: But you were just so excited.

CHARACTER 1: Well. Maybe I’m volatile.

CHARACTER 2: You are so volatile. I hate that.

CHARACTER 1: That’s all I can think of.

CHARACTER 2: I think I’m smarter than you.

CHARACTER 1: You might be. You probably are. Doesn’t that make you sad?

CHARACTER 2: It does make me sad. Now I’m sad. This is just like you.

CHARACTER 1: Maybe ignorance is bliss. Now that you know things...

CHARACTER 2: Yeah. I guess I’m too intelligent to enjoy life.

CHARACTER 1 stares at CHARACTER 2 in utter disbelief, then smacks him/her in the face. CHARACTER 1 walks offstage.

CHARACTER 1 (over shoulder): Asshole. 

END OF PLAY