Week Fourteen: Dreams - mixed with everyday life? Premonitions?

DISCONNECT

SETTING — A coffee shop: Table and four chairs.

CHARACTERS — 2m, 2f. CHRIS, JENN, DAN, and ASHLEY are in their late 20s/early 30s.

AT RISE — All are seated, sipping coffee, but otherwise attending to their smart phones first and having a conversation second. After several very long beats:

JENN: Ash, did you Like my picture?

ASHLEY: Oh, no, I didn’t see it in my feed.

JENN: Weird.

CHRIS: They changed everything around again.

DAN: Of course they did.

CHRIS: There’s an algorithm.

ASHLEY: Oh yeah, I read that too.

(Beat.)

JENN: Do you see it now?

ASHLEY: Yeah. It’s funny.

DAN: I just Liked it, Jenn.

JENN: Cool.

CHRIS: You guys seen the Game of Thrones cat?

ASHLEY: I don’t think so.

(CHRIS plays a few seconds of a cat meowing the opening theme to Game of Thrones.)

ASHLEY: Oh, yeah.

JENN: Ha ha.

DAN (overlapping): That’s an old one, man.

(Long beat.)

ASHLEY: I’m so glad we could get together you guys.

OTHERS: Yeah! / Definitely. / etc.

(Longer beat.)

JENN: Ash, did I tell you what my roommate did?

ASHLEY: I don’t think so.

JENN: It was ridiculous. So she’s completely inept at really basic shit, and the other night—

DAN: Oh, yeah, the microwave thing.

CHRIS: Oh yeah!

ASHLEY: Oh, I guess I did see that when you posted about it.

JENN: Right. It’s just that you didn’t Like it, so I didn’t know.

ASHLEY (re: phone): Ugh. I’m riding like five percent on my battery.

CHRIS: There’s a flash sale on external ones. I’ll send you the link.

ASHLEY: Cool. I probably need one. I’m, like, glued to this thing...

             (typing rapidly on her phone)

...it’s really bad...

JENN: That’s kinda strange, huh?

(Long beat. Everyone on his or her phone.)

DAN: ...What is?

JENN: What?

DAN: What’s strange?

JENN: Oh. I don’t remember.

(Long beat.)

ASHLEY: Chris, shut up!

JENN: What?

ASHLEY: Nothing. He just texted me this thing...

             (reading)

Oh my God, no I am not!

CHRIS: I’ll forward it to you guys.

ASHLEY: You are such a douche.

DAN (seeing it now): Oh, ha. I’ve seen that one.

JENN: Oh yeah. Oh! Another Like on my photo.

             (beat)

Marc Liked it.

             (beat)

Ashley still has not.

(Long beat.) 

ASHLEY: ...What?

JENN: Nothing, Ash.

ASHLEY: God. I’ll go Like it right now.

JENN: Don’t worry about it. It wasn’t that funny anyway.

DAN: I thought it was funny.

CHRIS: Dan actually commented on it when you first posted it. He said...

             (reading)

“That’s funny.” 

DAN: See? 

JENN: Thanks, guys.

ASHLEY: It’s just that you already got like fifty Likes on it. I didn’t think you cared about getting one more, you know?

JENN: I don’t know; that’s how people show they’re interested. They “Like” things.

ASHLEY: I just missed that particular one. Sue me.

JENN: It’s fine. Forget about it.

CHRIS: Dan has actually Liked... most of the stuff you post.

DAN: Oh, did I miss one?

CHRIS: You guys know that app—

OTHERS: Oh yeah! / Right... / etc.

CHRIS: —yeah. I bet it would tell you that Dan’s your biggest fan. Empirically. Your biggest fan.

DAN: I Like most things, Chris. I have a lot of love.

CHRIS: You certainly do.

JENN: Installing now.

DAN: I even Like your stuff on occasion. You never Like mine.

CHRIS: Your posts are all automatically generated stories about how you just Liked something.

ASHLEY (checking): Oh my God, it’s true!

CHRIS: I just don’t think I could ever Like that you Liked something and be able to look myself in the mirror each day.

DAN: Too gay?

CHRIS: Yes, you bigot. Liking your Likes would be extremely homosexual.

JENN: Okay, the result are in. So it says—... Wait Ashley you’re in the bottom five?!

DAN: What does it say about me?

ASHLEY: The bottom five of what?

JENN: Of all my Friends, you look at my page slightly more often than Rick.

ASHLEY: God, sorry I don’t creep on you more than your ex.

JENN: He doesn’t, though. At all. Rick has me blocked.

DAN: But what does it say about me?

JENN: So apart from someone who looks at my posts never, you’re my least interested fan.

DAN: I never liked Rick. You deserve better, Jenn.

ASHLEY: I’m not your fan; I’m your friend.

JENN: Are you?

CHRIS: But what does it say about Dan?!

JENN: Guys, cool it. Dan is—... righteous motherfuck that is a lot of Likes. Dan, my goodness.

CHRIS: He has a lot of love.

ASHLEY: Let me see!

JENN: Sure, now you want to see...

DAN: ...it can’t be that bad...

CHRIS: Let me see.

             (she does)

Ah ha ha! Hoooo wow Dan. Where do you find the hours in the day?

ASHLEY: So he can look at it. That’s nice.

DAN: Could I see that please?

(CHRIS hands it over. ASHLEY leans in.)

ASHLEY: Oh, yeah, that is a bit excessive.

DAN: I don’t hear anyone blaming Jenn for posting nonstop fascinating and funny things.

ASHLEY: But, dude, second place is her sister, and you have more than twice the Likes she does.

JENN: At least Dan is interested in my life.

CHRIS: He sure is. Every moment of it...

ASHLEY (distracted): You guys, what are we even talking about...?

             (re: her own phone)

Oh, Rick finally emailed me back.

JENN: Rick my-Rick Rick?

ASHLEY (reading now): Well... yeah. We were all friends before you two were... you know...

             (beat)

Sweet, he’s free Thursday.

JENN (dry): Sweet.

CHRIS: Don’t think you’re off the hook, dude.

DAN: Of course I am. No one cares.

(Long beat.)

JENN: ...Cares about what?

CHRIS: Dan’s feelings for you.

JENN: Oh. Love you too, dude!

(Long beat.)

ASHLEY: Well, balls. Phone’s dead. I swear to God I was just about to Like that picture, Jenn.

JENN: Cool.

(Beat. ASHLEY regards the others, all of them on his or her phone.)

ASHLEY: Wow, well you guys are addicts. 

OTHERS: Huh. / Hmm. / Heh.

(Beat.)

ASHLEY (gathering things): I gotta go anyway. It’s really awesome that we could all get together! 

OTHERS: Yeah! / Absolutely! / See you soon, Ash!

ASHLEY: Good luck with the toaster oven thing, Jenn.

JENN: Thanks, Ash.

(ASHLEY exits.)

CHRIS: I should probably head out too. Coming with, Dan?

DAN: Nah, gonna hang here for a bit. I’ll catch up with you at the apartment.

CHRIS (gathering things): Okay...! Use protection, you two.

JENN: But we’re working on our fourth!

DAN: Ha...!

(CHRIS shoots DAN a scandalized look and exits. A beat. Both are on their phones.)

JENN: ...And it is later than I thought!

             (starting to gather things)

You staying or...?

DAN (following suit): So, uh, I saw your latest update, because, you know, I SEE THEM ALL...

JENN: Yeah?

DAN: Did you unfriend Ashley?

JENN: Yep.

DAN: Why?

JENN: She just cares way too much about this online stuff. Real life is what’s important, you know? Conversation? Relationships?

DAN: Yeah, totally.

             (beat)

Jenn, do you think sometime you’d want to—

JENN (re: her phone): Ha ha oh my God! Oh my God! Chris just sent me this thing...

JENN leans in close to DAN so he can see her phone. Dan looks at her with bare longing and then at the phone.

JENN (cont.): Isn’t that hilarious?

DAN: Yeah, that is really funny.

(JENN smiles at DAN and then starts to head off. DAN follows her.)